Hello everyone! My name is Jazz. Lars Jazz. Most people call me Jazz, some people call me Lars and everyone else call me Lars Jazz Monkey. I am a special envoy, chargé d'affaires, internuncio and substitute correspondent on temporary assignement for Sara. She's bummed out that her computer crashed so she has engaged me to assist in updating her blog. Enjoy! It's a good read! All the best! LJM_________________________________________________________________
Well it’s getting close to that time of year again, when Jews stop eating bread and start drinking wine. Four glasses per sedar to be exact. It’s got me thinking of that magical story of Passover. In particular about the story of the 10 plagues. So in honor of the season, I’ve composed my own Madagascar version. Enjoy
The first plague God turned water into blood for Moses but for me it’s swept floor to dirt in seconds flat. I’m not sure how it happens as I sweep it out it blow right back in. My concrete floor is perpetually covered in dirt.
The air shall be filled with mold …”that it shall come up into your house and into your bedroom and on your bed.” Exodus 8:3
“All the dust of the earth became [poultry poo].” Exodue 8 :17 My neighbor has a goose and 3 chickens. Their favorite thing in the world to do is defecate on my porch and in my front yard. I have a special chicken poo broom now.
Guess what thinks chicken poo is just tops? Ants! They’re everywhere inside and out. I had a friend buy me Muesli while she was in Tana- it’s the equivalent to about 3 weeks worth of groceries at site but it’s delicious and I savor it. After eating it once I found the next day that where once there was delicious oats and seeds there now was ants. I may have cried- I’ve tried to repress the memory.
Thankfully spiders eat ants. Unfortunately I’m freaked out by large spiders at night time. I slammed on in my door one night and found it the next morning being devoured by a swarm of ants. Then a battalion of spiders set up webs to combat the ants. Everyday I am plagued by stepping through their delicate and sticky webs.
Thankfully my skin remains boils free unlike the Egyptians of yore at this point in of God’s wrath, it is however torn up by thorns. It used to be just around my ankles as I trek through thorny brush a lot. Now that I’m spending a lot of time in the tree nursery though, my arms have fallen victim to the thorny wrath.
My number seven plague is not hail, but hail in it most liquidy form- rain. There was a hurricane last week and has been raining every since. Perhaps I should allegorically be refrencing Noah instead…
They swarm when I’m at my smelliest, dirtiest, and most disheveled state. No- not locusts, but young Malagasy men. By virtue of being American and white I’m whistled at and hit on constantly. Despite inadequate and inconsistent bathing, lack of deodorant and the general even-though-I-just-washed-this-shirt-it-still-smells state of my wardrobe I’m batting them away! I must be irresistible.
Exodus 10:22 “So Moses stretched out his hand toward heaven, and there was pitch black in all the land of Egypt three days.” Here in the heart of darkness, I can’t even see my hand if it’s touching my nose at night time. But this isn’t a plague- even dark, dreary days offer rain yoga and puddles to play in. It’s more something to wonder at- nighttime in a rainforest is really dark.
And finally…
Death of the first born…mosquito. And the second born, and the third born… We have several different species- some bite in the day some at night. Some can give you regular run-of-the-mill malaria, some cerebral malaria and yet others a slew of different diseases. Plus as any outdoorsmen knows- even without the threat of disease- their bites itch like crazy!
So I hope my list was more funny than concerning. Life here is really great despite these pesky problems. I’m finally receiving letters and packages (thanks Staci and Gabe, Kathy and Larry and who ever this new package I have yet to pick up is from!). Thank you all for keeping in touch- I love hearing from you and my mailman laughs at me every time he drops off a letter because I do a little dance. I write everyone back (I have 4 letters to mail today!) though it sometimes takes a little while for me to get a chance to buy postage.
In other news, there was a big celebration here for Women’s Day on the 8th of March. It’s great that it’s such a big part of culture here. There was a parade and speeches and women’s only basketball game in Andasibe. I went to be a spectator, but was ushered up to the stage by my vice mayor as an impromptu female VIP. There was a reception afterwards for all the VIPs on stage. I got cake and coke- it turned out to be an awesome event.
Last weekend, Amanda rode her bike to my site and stayed the night. We made chocolate chip pancakes (courtesy of her sister’s care package) and toured the orchard. It was serendipitous that Dan Turk- an American man I’ve been working in association with due to his role with SAF/FJKM- and his family were visiting the park that same night and invited us to spend the evening with them. They treated us to a delicious dinner, and we played games with their 2 kids. It was really great to spend time with an American family. Plus we got hot showers, and to use their hotel room’s electricity to charge our phones! So things have been really great. I’m spending a lot of time with the trees- getting dirty and working hard. I love it. I’ll be traveling to another part of the country soon for work so I’m really excited to see a new place! I also get to meet the new stage in about 2 weeks and talk to them about life in the first few months. I hope I can excite them, assure them, and calm any nerves they have- because although the first 2 months have been really difficult- they’ve been so wonderful at the same time.That’s all for now. I wish happiness and health to you all! Salama tsara!
The first plague God turned water into blood for Moses but for me it’s swept floor to dirt in seconds flat. I’m not sure how it happens as I sweep it out it blow right back in. My concrete floor is perpetually covered in dirt.
The air shall be filled with mold …”that it shall come up into your house and into your bedroom and on your bed.” Exodus 8:3
“All the dust of the earth became [poultry poo].” Exodue 8 :17 My neighbor has a goose and 3 chickens. Their favorite thing in the world to do is defecate on my porch and in my front yard. I have a special chicken poo broom now.
Guess what thinks chicken poo is just tops? Ants! They’re everywhere inside and out. I had a friend buy me Muesli while she was in Tana- it’s the equivalent to about 3 weeks worth of groceries at site but it’s delicious and I savor it. After eating it once I found the next day that where once there was delicious oats and seeds there now was ants. I may have cried- I’ve tried to repress the memory.
Thankfully spiders eat ants. Unfortunately I’m freaked out by large spiders at night time. I slammed on in my door one night and found it the next morning being devoured by a swarm of ants. Then a battalion of spiders set up webs to combat the ants. Everyday I am plagued by stepping through their delicate and sticky webs.
Thankfully my skin remains boils free unlike the Egyptians of yore at this point in of God’s wrath, it is however torn up by thorns. It used to be just around my ankles as I trek through thorny brush a lot. Now that I’m spending a lot of time in the tree nursery though, my arms have fallen victim to the thorny wrath.
My number seven plague is not hail, but hail in it most liquidy form- rain. There was a hurricane last week and has been raining every since. Perhaps I should allegorically be refrencing Noah instead…
They swarm when I’m at my smelliest, dirtiest, and most disheveled state. No- not locusts, but young Malagasy men. By virtue of being American and white I’m whistled at and hit on constantly. Despite inadequate and inconsistent bathing, lack of deodorant and the general even-though-I-just-washed-this-shirt-it-still-smells state of my wardrobe I’m batting them away! I must be irresistible.
Exodus 10:22 “So Moses stretched out his hand toward heaven, and there was pitch black in all the land of Egypt three days.” Here in the heart of darkness, I can’t even see my hand if it’s touching my nose at night time. But this isn’t a plague- even dark, dreary days offer rain yoga and puddles to play in. It’s more something to wonder at- nighttime in a rainforest is really dark.
And finally…
Death of the first born…mosquito. And the second born, and the third born… We have several different species- some bite in the day some at night. Some can give you regular run-of-the-mill malaria, some cerebral malaria and yet others a slew of different diseases. Plus as any outdoorsmen knows- even without the threat of disease- their bites itch like crazy!
So I hope my list was more funny than concerning. Life here is really great despite these pesky problems. I’m finally receiving letters and packages (thanks Staci and Gabe, Kathy and Larry and who ever this new package I have yet to pick up is from!). Thank you all for keeping in touch- I love hearing from you and my mailman laughs at me every time he drops off a letter because I do a little dance. I write everyone back (I have 4 letters to mail today!) though it sometimes takes a little while for me to get a chance to buy postage.
In other news, there was a big celebration here for Women’s Day on the 8th of March. It’s great that it’s such a big part of culture here. There was a parade and speeches and women’s only basketball game in Andasibe. I went to be a spectator, but was ushered up to the stage by my vice mayor as an impromptu female VIP. There was a reception afterwards for all the VIPs on stage. I got cake and coke- it turned out to be an awesome event.
Last weekend, Amanda rode her bike to my site and stayed the night. We made chocolate chip pancakes (courtesy of her sister’s care package) and toured the orchard. It was serendipitous that Dan Turk- an American man I’ve been working in association with due to his role with SAF/FJKM- and his family were visiting the park that same night and invited us to spend the evening with them. They treated us to a delicious dinner, and we played games with their 2 kids. It was really great to spend time with an American family. Plus we got hot showers, and to use their hotel room’s electricity to charge our phones! So things have been really great. I’m spending a lot of time with the trees- getting dirty and working hard. I love it. I’ll be traveling to another part of the country soon for work so I’m really excited to see a new place! I also get to meet the new stage in about 2 weeks and talk to them about life in the first few months. I hope I can excite them, assure them, and calm any nerves they have- because although the first 2 months have been really difficult- they’ve been so wonderful at the same time.That’s all for now. I wish happiness and health to you all! Salama tsara!
Thank you, Jazz, for posting on Sara's behalf.
ReplyDeleteSara, this was an absolutely wonderful post. Very entertaining and well written. Leaves me with good thoughts as I head to bed (despite your troubles, since I know that they are, at the heart, good troubles). Would you like me to include deodorant in my package to you so you can attract a Malagasy hunk? ;-P
love love love and more love to you,
Lea